In the widow world , a dilemma of “secondary losses” is sometimes overpowered by the primary loss,the death of the spouse. It’s the ripple effect in action. The boulder of a spouse’s death into the pool of one’s life creates waves of calamity.
I’ve suffered all of these , to one degree or another, since losing John. All have taken a toll, but the most difficult for me has been the loss of identity. Trying to figure out who I am without my better half is like secondary adolescence without puberty.
I’m a child of the 70’s who grew up to a soundtrack of great classic rock and roll. Vinyl 45’s evolved into grooving out to an AM transistor radio, way before FM offered no static at all. Moving on up to the 8 track, then cassettes, humongous speakers and stereo systems crowded my bedroom. Like Brian Wilson, I found refuge “In…
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