After over twenty years of facilitating grief support groups and counseling mourners, I have learned that nothing sparks a grieving person’s conversation more than asking “What are some of the dumb or thoughtless statements people have made to you in trying to help you with your grief?”
Suddenly the griever wakes up from his or her solemn, quiet demeanor into an animated dissertation of clichés, “inspirational” statements and glib responses from often well-meaning friends and family members that have caused them to experience shock, disbelief and sometimes emotional pain.
Here is a list of just a few of the things you might want to avoid saying to a mourner:
- You know they are in a better place. True. But that doesn’t make me miss them less or feel any less sad.
- You know that you will see them again someday. Again true. I know that but I still miss them.
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