We all like to know what to expect. No surprises. Nothing unexpected. That’s the way most of us like our lives to be. So it’s not surprising that when we lose a loved one we go to the “experts” in grief to find out a game plan, a set of rules or a “to do” list for grief that lets us know what’s going to happen, when it’s going to happen and what we’re supposed to do when it does happen. In grief we mourners and our caregivers want to be prepared. No surprises. Nothing unexpected.
But grief is not predictable. In fact, each grief and every mourner is different. There are no two losses or resulting griefs that are exactly alike, even when the losses are right-down-to-the-details identical. There are just too many factors that shape each grief and all those factors in every loss differ in some way.
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Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library 