Self Talk That Keeps Mourners from Healing

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These are common beliefs shared with me by grief counseling clients and grief group members that prevent mourners from healing and steal their hopes of progressing in healthy ways  through grief:

  • Expressing my grief emotions shows weakness.
  • Giving into grief and expressing it just makes me sadder and doesn’t make anything better.
  • There is nothing I or anyone can do or say to change things.
  • Crying in front of others will make others see me as weak or out of control.
  • My loved one wouldn’t want me to grieve.
  • I shouldn’t be sad.  I should be happy for my loved one (who is in a better place, because he is no longer suffering)
  • No one wants to hear about my problems.
  • I don’t want to be a burden to others.
  • No one will allow me to grieve.
  • My grief comes from my selfishness in wanting my loved one back.
  • Mourning is…

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About Sue Diane Rosenbloom, CT, MA

Thanatologist: Loss, Trauma, Crisis, Death, and Grief Educator - My blog is for educational purposes only. I am not a licensed professional counselor - Bachelor of Arts in Human Studies - Marylhurst University (2007) Certificate in Thanatology - Hood College (2008) Master of Arts in Thanatology - Hood College (2009) Certificate in Thanatology - The Association for Death Education and Counseling (the highest level of loss and grief education). * Hospice, Alzheimer's, and Senior's Advocate * Former first responder for Trauma Intervention Program, Inc. (TIP) * Former Hospice and Bereavement Volunteer for Providence Hospice Bereavement Program * Association for Death Education and Counseling Member * National Alliance for Bereavement of Children * Hood College Thanatology Association * American Group Psychotherapy Association * Hospice, Loss, Grief and Bereavement Researcher
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