Mourners need two things: (1) to be able to express themselves and share their grief experience without being judged and (2) to know that they have been heard and understood. Remember that the best way that you can help mourners is to be present, listen, support and encourage them. Simply being there for grievers can help them move toward healing.
Here’s some of the actions and sayings you should avoid doing for people in grief
- Don’t judge the person or his or her circumstance. Avoid telling the mourner why the death or situations leading up to the death took place. Steer clear of telling the mourner that “Everything will be all right” or that “Everything happens for a reason.” There could be some truth in those statements, but still they are not comforting to mourners in pain.
- Don’t try to find theological reasons for the death. (I put this…
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Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library 