Comforting parents after the death of a child can be challenging, but the skills necessary to help a bereaved parent can be within our abilities to care and reach out. The skills include:
- Acknowledging the family’s loss, their pain and your sadness about the loss
- Allowing parents to express themselves without judging them or giving unsolicited advice or suggestions
- Allowing the parents to cry
- Allowing yourself to cry
- Not feeling awkward and speaking when a silence occurs
- Just being present
- Saying the name of the child in conversation
- Avoid using clichés such as “I know how you feel.” “At least you know they are in a better place.” Or “You’re young. You can always have other children.”
- Being interested in their stories about the child and their loss
- Avoiding trying to explain why the loss took place
- Sharing your fond memories of the child
- Asking to see pictures of the child
- Extending gestures of concern
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Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library 